Part 1 of The Big 3:
Anxiety
by Ron Squire
In my experience as a therapist I have treated a lot of what is sometimes referred to as the “big 3”. The big 3 are Anxiety, Depression, and Trauma. Today’s thoughts will focus on Anxiety (although at times, not always, but at times - all 3 can become connected, interwoven, and start to feed off one another).
Anxiety can be seen as an alarm system. Anxiety comes from a very ancient and old part of our brain. Its main purpose is to keep us protected and alive. Anxiety is actually what has contributed to us as a species surviving this long. Anxiety overestimates threats and underestimates our abilities to deal with the threats (whether real or imaginary). Think about it, if we perceive a threat, and we don't feel we can handle it, then we run. Running away from something leads to a higher chance we’ll stay alive versus confronting it.
Another perspective on anxiety is that it’s a form of time traveling.Those suffering from anxiety or consistent worry live in “what if land” (future mindset) and not in “what is land” (present mindset). Constantly wondering about the “what ifs” in life can lead us down an endless maze of possibilities with danger and harm lying behind every turn. Thinking about the future is not always bad though. Future based thinking is necessary at times. There is, however, a difference between healthy future thought vs unhealthy future thought. William James in his book The Varieties of Religious Experience discusses this difference as “Fear Thought vs Forethought”. Forethought is good - “What do I pack for my trip? How much will I need to save up for a new car? How many string cheeses will we need to bring to make sure our children don’t turn on us and lead a rebellion of violence and aggression?” Fear thought is bad. What differentiates fear thought from forethought you ask? Fear thought is thinking about something coming up that may be challenging and feeling incapable. There is something coming up and I AM INCAPABLE of meeting the challenge (remember, anxiety is an overestimation of a threat and an underestimation of our ability to deal with it).
One well-intentioned goal of many clients is to “get rid of” their anxiety. While I understand their desire, that is something that will never happen. Anxiety is a part of our story, however, it does not have to be the entirety of our existence. Anxiety is not going away, but to what degree we feel anxiety (clinical or typical) we can maybe do something about.
Here are some general things I myself have tried as well as my clients that have been successful in keeping anxiety in check; at least enough to be able to more effectively navigate the challenge ahead:
1)Deep breath, step back - oxygen is fed to our frontal cortex, the analytical part of the brain responsible for taking perspective and navigating our way through the challenge in front of us. Oxygen intake will bring back online this part of the brain that can help keep the anxiety in check.
2)Ground yourself in the present - check in with what IS, not what if. Then, really take stock of your capabilities to deal with what IS. Talk to your anxiety, thank your anxiety for doing its job. But then you can discard it by gently steering that anxiety in the right direction. Just by slowing down your breath and turning back on the analytical part of the brain (prefrontal cortex), you give yourself time and a chance to make the next best decision/move.
3) Choose your Move -
But what is the move I should choose?
To conquer your anxiety it takes voluntary, incremental steps towards the thing you’re afraid of.
Do you over involve yourself? Are you a control freak? Does the loss of control bring up anxiety? If so, then the conquering of your fear would be taking voluntary incremental steps towards letting go; to remove yourself and just be. It’s not about inaction but rather disciplined inaction.
Do you isolate yourself? Hide out? Avoid? If so, then the conquering of your fear would be taking voluntary steps towards the very thing that scares you.
To engage or disengage? That is the question when it comes to anxiety. Which do I do? Well, it depends on what is more scary to you. If stepping forward and engaging is what terrifies you, then that is what you must do. If stepping back and letting go is what terrifies you, then that is what you must do.
Anxiety is real but not real like a pen or an external object we can touch, taste, smell, etc. Anxiety is experienced within and once we recognize it for what it is (an alarm system that is just trying to protect us), take a deep breath, ground ourselves in the present, and start to bring back online the analytical part of our brain (introduce other perceptions or perspectives), we can choose what we do with it.
To close I can’t say it better than Marcus Aurelius, in Meditations, when he says this about anxiety:
“External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.” (110)
Today I escaped from my anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions - not outside.” (121)
Citations:
M. Aurelius - Meditations
William James - The Varieties of Religious Experience